The Story of a Young Heart

Title: The Story of A Young Heart
Artist: A Flock Of Seagulls
Purchased: God, I hope I didn't pay for this.
Verdict: Dump it

To my defense, I don't remember how or when I got this. I just know it was stuck in with my other, better records. I may well have laid out some precious quarters for it. It might have been a charity offering from a well-meaning friend or neighbor. Don't laugh. Such an act of generosity landed me a copy of The Contortions Buy and several other fun records.

That said I'll admit to having a soft spot for A Flock of Seagulls hits like "Wishing (If I Had A Photograph Of You)", "Space Age Love Song" and "I Ran", so I held out some slender hopes when I put this on. But no, there wasn't a passable track on the whole thing. Any time I hear people talk about how they love the 80s–and not referencing the TV show–I want to deliver them a four-hour multi-media presentation enumerating all the reasons the 80s were just a rotting sandwich with Reagan the first George Bush being the bread and a lot of whiny lyrics, uninspired drum-machine beats and a thin overall sound as the filling. It wasn't all floppy haircuts and Duran Duran. There were beatings. This Album Sucked (So I Threw It the Hell Out).