Eight-Second Review: Antony and the Johnsons with the Brooklyn Philharmonic Orchestra at BAM

You don't have time to go to see gender-dysphoric torch singers perform with orchestras . Hell, you don't even have time to read about them. So here's what you should know about Antony and the Johnsons with the Brooklyn Philharmonic Orchestra at BAM, March 9, 2007, in less than 10 seconds.

Number of songs performed in complete darkness: 1
Paralyzing thought: Jesus, what if they light up that whole bank of lights behind the orchestra for the entire thing?
And did they? Well, no, only for about 30 seconds.
Covers that would blow your mind: Beyoncé's "Crazy In Love"
Total length of time: About an hour
Guys that were there with their moms: Probably just me