Eight-Second Review: Melt Banana at 7th Street Entry, Minneapolis

You don't have time to see Japanese noise punk bands. Hell, you don't even have time to read about them. So here's what you should know about Melt Banana with The Boggs and Birthday Suits in less than 10 seconds.

The Boggs: Missed 'em
Birthday Suits: Dull to average
Melt Banana: Really good
The crowd: Seemed like they would have moshed to anything.

Breaking interview news!

I know I wasn't going to post for a while, so two posts immediately after I make that proclamation seems weird, but this is too big. Jesse Thorn, over at The Sound Of Young America just interviewed naaaaaasty funkstress Betty Davis. Check it out! Jesse is Awesome, as is Betty Davis.

Now I Wanna Be Joe Garden

Last night, I had a dream that I was playing drums for the reunited Stooges. Only I can't play drums. I was missing beats, fills, and sometimes, entire songs. Finally, Iggy had the sollution. Move Watt to drums, Ashton to bass and me to guitar. Which I also can't play. I will say one thing for dream Iggy; he's very diplomatic when it comes to failures.

New excuse

So, now that the move is done, why haven't I been posting? Well, here are my reasons now.

1) There are boxes of books in front of my records. I am waiting for the arrival of my bookshelves from Wisconsin before I can unpack them.

2) Work has been ramped up.

3) On top of that, I have two projects that are due in short order. LIke, insanely short order. Like, a sane person would nevery have aggreed to do this.

In short, I have been going sort of nuts.

I swear, I will get back to it on a more regular basis.

And now, I think the ratio excuse to non-excuse posts is like 1:20.

Needledrop Two-fer: In Heat & Little Robbers

Titles: In Heat/Little Robbers
Artists: The Romantics/The Motels
Purchased: No recollection
Verdict: Bleah!/Meh

The Romantics are best known for their hit "Talking In Your Sleep." Not familiar? How about this refresher: "You tell me that you want me/You tell me that you need me/you tell me that you love me/and I know that I'm right/Cause I hear it in the night/I hear the secrets that you keep/When you're talking in your sleep."

There. Got it? Well, that's all you're getting from me. Anyway, that bit of mediocre songwriting is all that they should be known for. As the album title suggests, The Romantics perform a lot of songs about wanting sex, none of which actually evoke sex in a way that make me want to have it. Instead, it's audio saltpeter that makes my genitals shrivel up just a little with every note. Read these lyrics and see if you want to fuck. "Little girl/You're such a tease/Everytime/Aim to please." Kudos to them for executing restraint by not throwing the word "knees" in there. In Heat is a tom-heavy abhorrent product of the 80s, best evidenced by the song title "Love Me To The Max," and it made me angrier and angrier the more it was on. Bitchin.

The Motels, on the other hand, had more hits and worse fashion sense. Their best known (and arguably best period), "Suddenly Last Summer," is on this album. But while there's not a lot to hate, hit single aside, there's not a lot to love either. It wafts through the air and out the window before you even notice most of it. I can always download "Suddenly Last Summer" and have 12 ounces less to lug around in my life.