Needledrop Two-fer: In Heat & Little Robbers

Titles: In Heat/Little Robbers
Artists: The Romantics/The Motels
Purchased: No recollection
Verdict: Bleah!/Meh

The Romantics are best known for their hit "Talking In Your Sleep." Not familiar? How about this refresher: "You tell me that you want me/You tell me that you need me/you tell me that you love me/and I know that I'm right/Cause I hear it in the night/I hear the secrets that you keep/When you're talking in your sleep."

There. Got it? Well, that's all you're getting from me. Anyway, that bit of mediocre songwriting is all that they should be known for. As the album title suggests, The Romantics perform a lot of songs about wanting sex, none of which actually evoke sex in a way that make me want to have it. Instead, it's audio saltpeter that makes my genitals shrivel up just a little with every note. Read these lyrics and see if you want to fuck. "Little girl/You're such a tease/Everytime/Aim to please." Kudos to them for executing restraint by not throwing the word "knees" in there. In Heat is a tom-heavy abhorrent product of the 80s, best evidenced by the song title "Love Me To The Max," and it made me angrier and angrier the more it was on. Bitchin.

The Motels, on the other hand, had more hits and worse fashion sense. Their best known (and arguably best period), "Suddenly Last Summer," is on this album. But while there's not a lot to hate, hit single aside, there's not a lot to love either. It wafts through the air and out the window before you even notice most of it. I can always download "Suddenly Last Summer" and have 12 ounces less to lug around in my life.