Worst/Best Rock Songs About Rock, Part 1
Don McLean "American Pie"
I may as well start at the bottom and claw my way up. "American Pie" is not only the worst song about rock, it is one of the worst songs about anything. I blame this long, long, long song for opening the floodgates of boomer nostalgia that dominated our cultural horizons for years. Oh, would that we could go back in time, when a Latino, a nerd from Lubbock and a gimmicky DJ could all die in the same Iowa plane crash, back to the time I finger banged Mary Sue in the back of my rag top Chevy at the drive-in. James Dean and Marilyn Monroe were taken from us too soon, and Marlon Brando should have died before he got fat. And all this music today sounds like noise. Now we live in the shadow of the greatest generation, but we stopped a war! And so on. This song is so god-awful that I can't even listen to the Killdozer version of it.
Twisted Sister "I Wanna Rock"
I love Dee Snyder. Can't deny it. I think he had the best moment in the PMRC hearings in the 80's (scroll down to the first exchange). The man even had a cameo in Pee Wee's Big Adventure. How cool is that? He was a loudmouth, and whether you agreed or not, you knew he wasn't just putting on airs. I outwardly hated the video for "I Wanna Rock" in high school, but I must have secretly liked it because it always stuck with me. Authority Figure: (Voice rising, lips curled in disgust) "Twisted Sister? What kind of man desecrates a defenseless textbook? I've got a good mind to slap your fat face! You are destroying that life with that, that, that garbage! All right, Mister Sister, I want you to tell me, better yet, stand up and tell the class: what do you want to do with your life?" Young Student Who Wants to Rock: (channeling Dee Snyder's voice) "I wanna rock!" Authority Figure is suitably freaked through the ceiling.
I may as well start at the bottom and claw my way up. "American Pie" is not only the worst song about rock, it is one of the worst songs about anything. I blame this long, long, long song for opening the floodgates of boomer nostalgia that dominated our cultural horizons for years. Oh, would that we could go back in time, when a Latino, a nerd from Lubbock and a gimmicky DJ could all die in the same Iowa plane crash, back to the time I finger banged Mary Sue in the back of my rag top Chevy at the drive-in. James Dean and Marilyn Monroe were taken from us too soon, and Marlon Brando should have died before he got fat. And all this music today sounds like noise. Now we live in the shadow of the greatest generation, but we stopped a war! And so on. This song is so god-awful that I can't even listen to the Killdozer version of it.
Twisted Sister "I Wanna Rock"
I love Dee Snyder. Can't deny it. I think he had the best moment in the PMRC hearings in the 80's (scroll down to the first exchange). The man even had a cameo in Pee Wee's Big Adventure. How cool is that? He was a loudmouth, and whether you agreed or not, you knew he wasn't just putting on airs. I outwardly hated the video for "I Wanna Rock" in high school, but I must have secretly liked it because it always stuck with me. Authority Figure: (Voice rising, lips curled in disgust) "Twisted Sister? What kind of man desecrates a defenseless textbook? I've got a good mind to slap your fat face! You are destroying that life with that, that, that garbage! All right, Mister Sister, I want you to tell me, better yet, stand up and tell the class: what do you want to do with your life?" Young Student Who Wants to Rock: (channeling Dee Snyder's voice) "I wanna rock!" Authority Figure is suitably freaked through the ceiling.
posted by VoteJoe at 11:15 PM
7 Comments:
i kinda like 'american pie'
:p
On this point, we must agree to disagree. I should actually call this "Personal Best and Worst Rock Songs About Rock."
I was on the subway a couple weeks ago and a girl doing a crossword puzzle next to me asked me "who was the lead singer of Twisted Sister." I made a huff and said, "Dee Snider" with more than a tinge of "obviously" in my voice. Then I didn't know if I should be more ashamed for her or me.
I strongly agree about American Pie. I think the key word here is "annoying." Wait a minute, did I say "annoying?" I meant "self-asphixiation-inducing."
Yes, kids, that's one word.
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Absolutely. It is so annoying I feel a little bad leading off this feature with it. Kinda fish in a barrel stuff.
Thank you for being the only person on the internet to literate the introduction of one of my favourite music videos.
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